While it’s not always a bad thing to sit in temporary silence, you may sometimes want a prompt or technique to get them talking. Here are nine to try in your practice.
Incorporate a journaling exercise.
Sometimes prompting a client to put their thoughts on paper can help them make sense of what they’re feeling. You can offer a journaling prompt to start the session, or you could use a therapeutic worksheet for clients who might need more structured sessions.
Ask about their sleeping habits.
A simple question like this one can get clients talking in a low-pressure way. In addition to sleep, Sawyer often asks clients about their eating habits, exercise regimen, spirituality, hobbies, or daily routine. “Clients feel like they know how to talk about these things,” she says. “We can start in a space talking about factual data, and slowly and comfortably move into more feelings and complex issues from there naturally.”
Try art therapy.
Words aren’t the only tool available to clients and therapists. Art can provide a new medium for clients who struggle to talk about their thoughts and feelings. “I've had clients play a song in session that describes themselves or how they are feeling, or a song that is meaningful for them,” Sawyer says.
Engage the mind through a meditation technique.
Mindfulness exercises, such as meditation, can help clients gain better awareness of their current situation and feelings. Taking a meditation break can also provide a helpful change of pace when traditional talk therapy isn’t working.
Ask, “What else could this mean?”
This simple redirection may get your client thinking about their experiences or interactions in a new way, which can help them think through — and, hopefully, talk about — the situation more deeply. Open-ended questions like this one can also encourage quiet clients to elaborate beyond their initial statements.
Use the five senses.
If words are failing your client, prompt them to contextualize their feelings or experience in a new way. Asking about what they saw, smelled, touched, heard, or tasted in a particular moment — or even while in the therapy room — may unlock new insights.
Praise what they have shared.
Positive reinforcement can help clients who have a hard time opening up. “We can share with our clients that it is okay to take their time. We can tell them that it is okay if they do not trust us yet, and that it is wise of them to listen to themselves and share as much as they want when they are ready,” Sawyer says. “When a client says they ‘don't know how’ to share, we can encourage them with what they have said and done.”
Allow for silent sessions.
Sometimes, letting a client sit in silence is the best move. This time may allow them to process, relax, or think about why they’re struggling to talk. Sometimes, it may even prompt them to open up by themselves. “It’s important for clients to feel like they can take time to think through their responses or reflect on how they are feeling, which takes time and silence,” Sawyer says.
Use over-exaggeration.
Sometimes, clients have an easier time articulating what isn’t true, rather than how they actually feel. Strategic exaggeration can cause a client to jump in and correct the statement. For example, if a client says they’re terrible at their job, you could respond with something like, “So, you’re saying you don’t have any useful skills at work?”
Be careful and thoughtful when using this strategy, though. When done well, it can challenge distorted thought patterns and get clients talking — but when done carelessly or without purpose, it can erode trust and the therapeutic alliance.
